oddities + career

If I were to describe my life in one word as of the moment, that word would be "confused". I'm confused in every single way I can think of. There are odd questions spinning around my head that seems to have no answers. It's difficult to be in the same state of mind that I do. Questions beginning in, "What if...", "How will I..." and "Where will I..." are generously popping in my thought cloud. I would normally blame it on me due to my wrong choice making. It's hard to predict what will happen and what might had happen. Sometimes I think that whatever decision I will make will always fall on the "fail" level. This is where my "I'm nothing in this world" issue comes about.

Note: The previous paragraph was written before my STS class, 11:30am


I confirmed something about what "I want" suppose to mean due to my STS class. Finally, I was able find my own road. This field is what I think I might excel and enjoy at the same time. A professor from Creative Writing department gave a small talk a while ago. Funny as it may seem, the career I really want is to be a writer. I know I'm no Shakespeare but the fun of letting others read your thought through your writing is unexplainable. Readers were my priority when I was writing in Candymag years ago. I brainstorm with myself to create something that would give a huge impact to my audience. This impact, I suggest, should have an emotional category in which the story can go along with. Some people were right about the speculations that a 15-year old is too young to be a college student. 'Cough on me. I wasn't prepared back in 2007. I just took what my father suggested me to be. However, I have the cravings of taking Business Administration that time. Nonetheless, everything's messed up right now. I'm an 18-year old grieving creature, stuck in my department and taking a course I know I would not completely be successful. I'm stuck in a way that I don't a have a way out. I'm already in my fourth year now. There's no backing out since I only have one year left to get my diploma. Sometimes I do feel like blaming my situation with my parents. I know they're proud of all my accomplishments. But I, myself, can't be any prouder like that of being a mare seeing my calf being taken as an unworthy puller for a kalesa somewhere in Manila. This might sound an emotional torture for me, but it is.

It's over. What's done is done. I still believe in the quote, "all's well that ends well" because I'm a writer. I'm a writer in my own simple way. My life would still not be in the climax right now but I'm pretty sure I'll make my way through that. Fighting the conflict can be such a mess. My life's plot and setting can be very confusing due to some twists and turns. Nevertheless, every writer knows that there would only be one conclusion in the end. And I would greatly hope for a wonderful ending that I've been dreaming of ever since I was young.

I am a writer. Krisha ♥

krisha

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