My sleep cycle was changed due to inevitable circumstances that came about. For the 2nd straight time, 2am was my EARLIEST sleeping time this sem. 'A strong point why I can't care to post a blog when I myself can't get a goodNIGHT sleep. July 20 at 2am, I just finished around 90% of my schematic layout exercise in EEE 100. July 21 at 2am (again), I'm habing a chat with a member of the lab I'm applying for. He's asking me and the rest of WCEL5, my groupmates, to help them research about some things on their thesis. Meanwhile, I carried the burden of doing the quotation due to my groupmates, wa-ako-care attitude. I tried to message them in facebook but they wouldn't reply. 'Good thing atleast two of them responded to me a while ago but preferred to do the "research", the one with a later deadline.

I'm supposed to explore python tonight but because of the said WCEL task, I wasn't able to touch anything about it. I really hope my application would turn right. Some of us are having a hard time to cope up with some activities lined up for us. I'm afraid that they'll quit and I'll end up quitting too. Everything is possible if you'll believe in it.

Anyway, I'll try to sleep after posting this one. I'll wake up early tomorrow to do some stuffs. I really need to get some rest. A pimple is already on its way out of my forehead. I need to make him stop by getting enough hours of sleep.

Running through my old blog, http://18thpowerofgreen.blogspot.com, I came across my two latest posts which were sort of what they call as "emo". Yeah... I know... I dedicated these posts to someone. Last February 2010, my eyes fled to a write-up that created a commotion in my head. I tried to fit the puzzle in my slot but I know it isn't mine. I felt sad. For 3 years, Ihave this light of hope keeping its light upon my head. Here's a little part from my February 1, 2010.

It’s not okay. It’s definitely not okay. I’m not okay... I was wrong from the very start... I feel like breaking down but still I try to remain reserved... My words aren’t constructing right. It’s like I’m writing no idea. No prediction could ever forecast my cardio pulses. I’m standing on a pedestal where I’m not supposed to be. It would be useful if a little theory was given... Over thinking is the greatest resort... Mishaps happen. I do know that. Satisfaction point, I might not reach. If fate will shower me one, one smile I can give. I should’ve remembered what expectance means and how it’ll interact with the word least. Day dreams might start to wander... Teachers will do their thing. My praises stand tall. But it’ll never complete one’s knowledge. I guess my palm lines will never be the same. First aids are needed. However, years can heal since I know inevitable you exist.

I wrote this when I read a note from someone I'm eyeing on to someone I know isn't me. It sounds sweet but still it isn't me. Haha! =) I'm overthinking again. I don't know why. My friend just mentioned something about it a while ago. Maybe that's why. Maybe... Another "emo"-ness of mine was posted last May 17, 2010. I think this'll ring a bell. Nah! It's not their anniversary but I think I'm a week close. Right? I just checked her girl's profile and a thing or two just pinched a portion of my heart. In fairness... Here's a part of my May 17 post.

It was mine first. I found it first... 'Still living up of that bull expectation. Nothing remains even. "Coz when a heart breaks, no it don't break even." Words to real life. 'Funny as it may seem, it seems true. It's called "the sad truth"... Lucidity failed my hopes. A dream remains a dream. I always make the wrong choice. Nothing's right I guess. But I don't have the guts to turn things right... I'm afraid of correcting mistakes because pessimisism haunts me. If someone won't help me, I might be frozen on this cold lonely misery.

I already regret posting this one. I'm feeling down. Ego? 'Don't think so. It hurts much that it doesn't fall on ego. Bakit ba kasi. Anyway, I think I'm on my way of moving on. It hurts whenever my eyes set on them. It tickles a bit whenever my friends mention about it. Hay hay... Better concentrate school and other stuffs. My school and org works are still lined up. I need to spit this pesky feeling out or else I'll keep my self from moving forward. Am I right or am I right?

I realized that there are many things to look forward to in life. My family are still there supporting me in the best way they can do. I have friends that catches my back whenever I slip up. This is my life. There might be downfalls but I know I'll be able to stand up again. As what the saying goes,

"fall seven times, stand up eight"

stand up Krisha ♥