It's been a while. I'm thoroughly thinking of whether posting or not today. I didn't post yesterday due not of indolence but because there was not much happenings in my life currently. My life was dull boring (unless you call Applet making, schematic layout-ing and reviewing for an exam exciting). In all honesty, I became a bit bum this week. Stressed out are the two words that best describe me. However, funny as it may seem, I'm not sleep deprived. Hooray for 8 hours of sleep even if it means not doing a lot of work.
Fortunately, my outside-UP-based organization gave me the reason of posting today. I received an e-mail from my committee head containing a sponsorship letter, an old copy to be exact. There were unedited dates that made me realize that it was made in the year 2007. Wow, that was three years ago. Moreover, I found weird sentence construction that made a "semi-" grammar freak like me to be uneasy. I can't help but edit the sentences that doesn't seem to be appealing (in the companies' eyes as well as mine). I'm not a pro writer. I just want a little formality. 'A no-no for complexities, hooray for simple yet keenly picked choice of words.
Found below are some parts of the letter - original and my edited version. I DIDN'T POST THIS TO MOCK THE ORIGINAL WRITER. I just need to muffle it out of my system. Changing the words and sentence construction does not mean that the original was wrong and mine is right. For me, it just sounds better.
Original:
Team Building Seminar strengthens the bond formed among the Executive Officers, Board of Directors and members of the organization. A series of outdoor activities will be done in one whole day. The event promotes camaraderie among accredited schools which will address the aim of the organization. More so, the lined activities will help in establishing the thrust of the organization: ***************. Usually, this is held during mid-August.
Original:
Sports Festival
******* students do not solely focus on academics. We are also equipped with skills in outdoor activities and sports. That’s why we annually conduct a sports festival for the accredited schools. Events such as Basketball, Volleyball, Badminton, Table Tennis and Chess are often lined up for play in this event. Sports Festival will run for two to three consecutive weeks in the month of November.
Original:
Christmas Party and Outreach Program
In lieu of sharing the spirit of Christmas by service for others, the organization will partake in an outreach program where we can help a chosen institution. We will be providing a Christmas party for them in order to share the feeling of being loved. The outreach will be conducted during the best time to show love for others – in December. The team is still finalizing the institution where we will hold this event.
Original:
Seminars and Job Fairs
A series of seminars will be provided by the ****** that will focus on communication skills. This includes seminars which will develop the self esteem of graduating students who will face job interviews. Also, the team will also be having Job Fairs for graduating members of *****. The team will hold this event on mid-February.
Again, pardon for the original writer of this letter. I DON'T HAVE ANY INTENTIONS OF MOCKING YOU. I just thought the new officers must have proofread the letter before circulating this to us members. A write-up should be improved (if needed) when it involves formal business with high-level people or institutions.
I know I'm Krisha. ♥
Fortunately, my outside-UP-based organization gave me the reason of posting today. I received an e-mail from my committee head containing a sponsorship letter, an old copy to be exact. There were unedited dates that made me realize that it was made in the year 2007. Wow, that was three years ago. Moreover, I found weird sentence construction that made a "semi-" grammar freak like me to be uneasy. I can't help but edit the sentences that doesn't seem to be appealing (in the companies' eyes as well as mine). I'm not a pro writer. I just want a little formality. 'A no-no for complexities, hooray for simple yet keenly picked choice of words.
Found below are some parts of the letter - original and my edited version. I DIDN'T POST THIS TO MOCK THE ORIGINAL WRITER. I just need to muffle it out of my system. Changing the words and sentence construction does not mean that the original was wrong and mine is right. For me, it just sounds better.
Original:
Team Building SeminarEdited:
This event strengthens the bond formed among the Executive Officers, Board of Directors and members of the organization. This is a series of outdoor activities done in one whole day. This promotes camaraderie among accredited schools which will address the aim of the organization. More so, this will help in achieving the thrust of the organization: ***************. Usually, this is held during mid-August.
Team Building Seminar strengthens the bond formed among the Executive Officers, Board of Directors and members of the organization. A series of outdoor activities will be done in one whole day. The event promotes camaraderie among accredited schools which will address the aim of the organization. More so, the lined activities will help in establishing the thrust of the organization: ***************. Usually, this is held during mid-August.
Original:
Sports FestivalEdited:
Of course **** students do not just focus on academic requirements. We are also equipped with skills in outdoor activities and sports. That’s why we, annually, conduct a sports festival for the accredited schools. Events such as Basketball, Volleyball, Badminton, Table Tennis and Chess are often played in this event. This will run for two to three consecutive weeks in the month of November.
Sports Festival
******* students do not solely focus on academics. We are also equipped with skills in outdoor activities and sports. That’s why we annually conduct a sports festival for the accredited schools. Events such as Basketball, Volleyball, Badminton, Table Tennis and Chess are often lined up for play in this event. Sports Festival will run for two to three consecutive weeks in the month of November.
Original:
Christmas Party and Outreach ProgramEdited:
In service for others, the organization will have an outreach program in an institution where we can help in the spirit of Christmas. We will be providing a Christmas party for them to make them feel that they are loved. This will be conducted during the best time to show love for others – in December. The team is still finalizing the institution where we will hold this event.
Christmas Party and Outreach Program
In lieu of sharing the spirit of Christmas by service for others, the organization will partake in an outreach program where we can help a chosen institution. We will be providing a Christmas party for them in order to share the feeling of being loved. The outreach will be conducted during the best time to show love for others – in December. The team is still finalizing the institution where we will hold this event.
Original:
Seminars and Job FairsEdited:
A series of seminars will be provided by the ****** that will focus on communication skills. This includes seminars which will develop the self esteem of graduating students who will face job interviews. Also, the team will also be having Job Fairs for graduating members of *****. The team will hold this event on mid-February.
Seminars and Job Fairs
A series of seminars will be provided by the ****** that will focus on communication skills. This includes seminars which will develop the self esteem of graduating students who will face job interviews. Also, the team will also be having Job Fairs for graduating members of *****. The team will hold this event on mid-February.
Again, pardon for the original writer of this letter. I DON'T HAVE ANY INTENTIONS OF MOCKING YOU. I just thought the new officers must have proofread the letter before circulating this to us members. A write-up should be improved (if needed) when it involves formal business with high-level people or institutions.
I know I'm Krisha. ♥
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