What to do when you're stuck in a class where no one bothers in listening to what the professor's saying and sleepyness slowly creeps on your senses? Being an a-dork-able person like I am, I grabbed a pen and a paper. My anxiety drove me in whole different level of scribbling non-sense thoughts. A while ago, I'm even practicing, or rather taxing, my left hand by writing a common sentence, "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog". After writing a few wingdings font-inspired The-quick-brown-fox sentences, I realized my madness got a little bit subtle. I started drawing hearts then. Also, I still tried to write scribbles on a dirty scratch paper where I drafted this post. Satisfaction never came. Nonetheless, boredom substituted its appearance.

I really wish I followed my devil-oriented conscience. It really gives out the best advice nowadays. Perky songs kept disgusting my thoughts. I don't know if my mind generates that sound I'm hearing. A bell kept ringing somewhere at the side of the room I'm in. Unconsciously, I hope that's the "Time!" bell. It's like those usual bells most students are fond of. The slides kept moving in a slow manner. His stories before did entice me. However today, every word he says seems like a verse of a requiem.

One hour to go. One more hour of undeserved suffering. I wish he'll just stop and exit beneath the scratches of the vinyl floor. Oops! A classmate responded to his question. I guess we a have a geek here. Major alert mode! Someone does listen which invalidates my theory of boredom-ness in this subject. I want to go out the room. Black out needs to transpire. I'm really wishing for one at this instant.

**

I was able to create this meaningful yet senseless post yesterday afternoon. Yes, it's oxymoronic. I was truly bored that afternoon. I suddenly remembered my deserted blog and voila! A post. Tomorrow will be the day of my "confusion"-ness. I really don't know what to expect and what not to expect. Nevertheless, maskipaps is still not bugging my senses. I just feel weirded out tonight. It seems like I'll just need to take away the sober me tomorrow evening. Confused. Really confused. I'm not even sure if there are people who'll support our group.

Really confused.

My props are ready. My costume is ready.

I am not ready.

I'm really confused why IECEP pursued this event when there are no sure members of joining. One quits and another one is pursued. When no one is available, plea. Yes, I just said yes out of impulse. I'm the representative of solo female.

I'm the representative of nothingness. *sighs*

Here's the picture of myself posted on the Engineering lobby. (I'm posting it hoping that at some point in my life, I may remember this dark incident that cost a bit of embarrassment on me.)Too much skin. *worries*



Credits to the one who took the photo.

On a lighter darker note, my employer still not pays your sincere servant. It's really disappointing that you put your trust in her and slowly she'll degrade your well-being by not giving back the deserved payment promised. I'm using that money for something big. I wanted to give myself something good for the first time. It's harsh to know that due to that incident, I'm in a shackle of worry. I'm worrying of not giving myself that gift I'm expecting.

Black. No heart. Krisha